Hey Y’all!
Again, this has nothing to do with my house, but it is my blog so I’ll post what I want. Yay me! Anyhoo, I felt it was due time for another recap of Dallas mid-season. And I do dare say last night was quite a doozy (oh and just for future reference, that statement comes from the 1929 Duesenberg Model J car. $29,000 of 1929 money [$1.2 million today] got you a chassis and an engine. Then the car went to the carriage builder of your choice where it was custom built to owner specifications. No two of these cars are the same and therefore the birth of the phrase “it’s a doozy.” It’s my blog and I’ll post random crap if I want to.).
So congratulations TNT! It still doesn’t suck! I’m so impressed! You have stuck with the original music, the story lines are intriguing and actually have substance, and the characters are genuine (except Christopher…more on that later). Now then, lets break down each of the characters.
Let us begin with the easiest – John Ross. You are quite a gem, good sir. And an idiot. I mean seriously? You had to ask the question what does a deed to mineral rights mean? You are in the oil business. I knew what that meant when your whiny baby of a cousin Christopher (I’ll plunge into that later) handed it to you. But I still do think you are best friend material. If nothing else, you know how to have a good time and have some delightful cars (I’m particularly partial to that black Corvette) and spending cash to boot. I don’t get your fascination with Elena other than the fact she is Genius Level 102 and you need someone like that. God knows you are Moron Level -12 and aren’t improving with each episode. But I still cheer for you. Oh and by the way, sucks for you they are going to pin Marta del Sol’s murder on you. Cause you ain’t gonna make it in prison. I’ll refrain from quoting Deliverance here and let you draw your own conclusions.
Christopher oh Christopher, you still suck. I mean seriously, what were trying to do last night? Cry? Because you failed. I spent more time screaming at the TV “for the love of God and all things holy if you are going to cry just do it!” Every time someone dropped a bombshell on you all I could think was dear God here come the pouty lips. I swear I thought you were trying to perfect the teen girl Facebook photo. Quit it. I want to like you Jesse Metcalfe, really I do. I don’t know if it is the writing, the fact your character is a three year old in a thirty year old body, or you just suck as an actor. But you suck...I have no better word for it. And for the love of all things holy do we have to bring up the my-mommy-couldn’t-have-babies-so-daddy-bought-me-and-I’ll-never-be-a-Ewing-ever-oh-woe-is-me! in every freaking episode?
Let. It. Go.
It really makes me want to punch you in the face. Really, it does. And the sad part of that is it seems you have much more time to dedicate to the gym than I do (actually if anyone spends more than five minutes in the gym, then that is five minutes longer than I do…I think a gym is hell on Earth) and for that reason I’m pretty sure you could kick my butt. I don’t like to think that a whiner like you could take me, but I know a fact when I see it. If Rebecca had a brain in her skull she would dump your tail and find someone who has a pair.
Bobby – your wife is a delightful person and a wonderful character…but she a fruit basket full of nuts. Girl got some psycho issues. And I think you would be wise to get that checked out. No one wants to wake up in the middle of the night with his wife standing over him with a butcher knife or a few gallons of gasoline while singing Hotel California and waving a lighter in the air. I truly feel life is going to suck a lot more for you before it gets better.
J.R. – you’re still my hero.
Sue Ellen – I still want to marry you. Call me maybe?
Christopher – you suck.
Warm Southern Days,
Russ
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